I don’t feel I have ever lived. I feel like I am only producing at a corner of my life and holding back until that experience come where I can withdraw my safety net, let my hair down, and see the world like I never have before. 

I am so beyond the materialistic formation of life and operating in the same, get in line, mentality. I feel like I am drowning in a deep sadness that no one can see. My heart is calling for adventure, new creativity, challenges, and frustrations. It seems as if there is another world, or me, that I haven’t tapped into yet. Nevertheless, I can truly say that I am or have already entered into another realm, even if my physical looks the same because what I desire is different than it ever has been before. 

I am ready to be a student and mediocre on this level. I dare not to be call great. I do not wish for it, but I want to learn and explore the unknown. I want to hear God speak to me anew and refresh my ideas and communication. 

I can see it happening because of how I have been viewing life and what I am choosing to ask for. Yes, it is some materialistic things requested on this new level, but not like ever before. I need them to be instruments to a new wave of creativity and possibility. Its usage needs to produce at a grand level that brings about exciting results and chances for others to experience. 

There is so much more to come. I am happy to bring out another notebook and pen to hear instructions and, then, challenge myself to put it into practice. 

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